Have you ever noticed that whenever people get back from some place remotely cultured they bitch and moan about how “fat” they’ve gotten and play the blame-game with whatever the local specialty is? Well, that is downright imbecilic. The truth is, no matter where in the world you are, you will gain weight if you over-indulge on vacation. Period. Plus, there is something about the word “vacation” that gives people the illusion that they’re actually taking some kind of “well deserved break” from things like lettuce, apples, and maintaining a moral compass.  

That said, this weekend in Florence is the Firenze Gelato Festival, which brings an obscene amount of attractive Italians (and of course, what self-respecting American tourist would turn down…WHAT?! ITALIAN ICE CREAM!?) flocking to the center city. 

Allow me to share a little secret with you here- despite the outrageous deliciousness….gelato is far better for you than ice cream. (Christ, it’s like a binge-eater’s wet dream). Here’s the Rx:

1/2 Cup of Ice Cream (Ben and Jerry’s, standard flavor): 230 calories, 13 grams of total fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 25 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein. 

1/2 Cup of Gelato (Generic): 157 calories, 6 grams of total fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 22 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein. 

What gives? Ice cream is made with cream, geniuses. That’s why they call it ice cream. And, in the case of a mass-producer such as Ben and Jerry’s, God knows what other processed garbage you’re ingesting when you eat your feelings with a pint of Chunky Monkey. Gelato is milk based, and the only ingredients are milk (part is actually non-fat milk), whatever the ingredient is for flavoring (nuts, milk, cocoa, etc.) sugar, and sometimes egg depending on the flavor (which would alter the protein content to make it higher than the one listed above). This picture—-that I’ve so generously attached for your viewing pleasure/not sure how much you can actually see—- demonstrates how these manufacturers are completely transparent by showing you all of the ingredients in the strawberry gelato (also, you’d get bonus points if you chose this water-instead-of-milk option for cutting even more calories and fat, but I’m not going to hold it against you if you were to go with chocolate-chip…).

So my point here is…the next time someone feeds you some load of crap that sounds like “ohh, I can’t button any of my pants because the gelato in Italy is SO rich!!” feel free to deliver a slap from me to them. The reason why gelato makes you fat is the same reason why anything in excess makes you fat. It’s much more likely that this super-smart line is actually code for: “ohh, I ate seven gelato per day in chocolate-dipped sugar-cones, took a golf-cart through the Vatican, and ate pizza and prosciutto like Italy is having a Century 21-esque clearance sale.” Consider yourself inoculated against these bullshit-spewers. 

I realize that (most of) you plebeians won’t be making it to Florence this weekend for the festival, so for now you can can try my personal favorite, Grom in the Village or on the Upper West Side: 

 http://www.grom.it/eng/dettagli_gelateria.php?id_gelateria=107&citt%26%23224%3B=New%20York