Yes, I did what I wanted this weekend and wound up in Spain. If you are feeling particularly jealous, my flight home included enough crying babies to fill the city of Valencia, a passenger plague of Black Lung, and an uncomfortable seat in row 43 of a 43-row plane.
I have this “condition” that I have self-diagnosed (ask Barbara, I do this a lot…) called Plate Envy. What exactly is this life-threatening condition, you ask? It means, in effect, that I have yet to go to a restaurant in all of my 24 years where I like my own entree better than yours. The content of your meal doesn’t actually matter that much to me…in fact, I’ve been known to think that your meal tastes better even when we ordered the exact same thing (weird, but true). Interestingly enough, it seems that the Spaniards have Plate Envy too- they can’t make up their mind about what they want to order, so they have created a solution for this that is commonly known as Tapas.
If you haven’t had tapas before and you live in one of the five boroughs, you probably meet one or all of the following criteria: 1.) You thought your guacamole-and-fajita binge last weekend was in fact Spanish, 2.) You summer in a small-but-well-known place by the name of Seaside Heights, New Jersey, or 3.) You’re actually from the Midwest and think it makes you sound sophisticated (or gentrified, as far as I’m concerned) to use the word “tapa” in a sentence. Though, a seldom-revealed fact about yours-truly: I did HAVE tapas once in St. Paul, Minnesota…what I was doing there, however, will go with me to the grave.
Regardless of your knowledge or my sordid past with Spanish cuisine, tapas are hands-down my favorite way to eat. Even better: Depending on what you order and how it’s prepared, it is also one of the healthiest and most balanced ways to dine. Think about it: The more small plates you have, the greater your access to different tastes, flavors, and macro/micronutrients you gain without filling up on one thing only.
I took three tapas from Madrid’s own foodie-mecca, Mercado de San Miguel, and Rx-ed them for your Plate Envy pleasure. Eat up!
No Bueno: Deep-Fried Tomatoes with Smoked Salmon and Dill
Rx: Chuck the deep-fryer and bake/toast the tomato slices instead
New Tapa: At last! The Catholics have re-defined ”bagel and shmear”
Why? First of all, welcome to summer, the season of tomatoes. Using a freshly-picked, ginormous tomato in this recipe is packed with vitamin C, lycopene, and potassium. Smoked salmon is a warm-weather friendly, low-fat protein that is packed with omega-3 fatty acids. A tip from my Jewish grandmother to you: Buy Nova Scotia lox. It’s lower in sodium, which will keep you from retaining water as the temps rise.
RECIPE
For a yield of two tomato-tapas:
- Chop about 1/2 cup of smoked salmon and toss with 1/2 cup of medium-diced onion. Season with garlic powder and ground pepper. Set aside.
- Place two onion slices in the oven or toaster oven and bake until heated all the way through. Scoop the salmon-onion combo and divide evenly, then drizzle 1 tsp of olive oil to season. Sprinkle fresh dill to taste, and garnish with a thin lemon slice.
*Note, this is for a single portion. However, these are GREAT for a summer picnic/appetizer at a BBQ, so just make sure to use 1/4 cup of salmon and onion for each slice of extra-large tomato. 
No Bueno: Asparagus with Lemon-Tartar Sauce
Rx: Tartar sauce to me sounds like food poisoning waiting to happen. Not to mention, what exactly do you NEED those calories from fat for anyway?
New Tapa: Grilled Asparagus with Sea Salt, Oil, and Lemon Juice
Why: Asparagus is not only in-season, but it is, as far as I’m concerned, one of the most badass vegetables around. Great veggie source of calcium, as well as fiber, vitamin C, folic acid and vitamin A. Also awesome: asparagus is a natural diuretic. What does that mean? It makes you pee. While that sounds a little weird, this is GOOD for you…it means that asparagus causes your body to naturally eliminate toxins faster than normal, which can also help to decrease bloat from water retention (plight of the endless summer night…look, i rhymed…). Granted, it’s unlikely that you’ll find asparagus this picturesque in the states (if only!) but for now, you can have your own Plate Envy of my eating adventures and simply amp up your serving size. (When it comes to asparagus, yes. We give you a free pass. Eat as much as you damn well please).
RECIPE:
For a yield of 8 stalks:
- In a grill pan: Grill stalks until both sides show cross-hatch.
- Drizzle with the juice of 1/2 lemon.
- Apply 1 tsp of olive oil, and season with sea salt.
*Best part about this recipe: The sea salt. It’s not the same with your average, iodized salt. Trust me- this is a worthwhile kitchen staple.
No Bueno: Shrimp…with eyes. Rx: Please stop staring at me, shrimp, while I eat your mom, your sister, your niece and nephew, your cousin thrice removed…you get the point.
New Tapa: Shrimp cocktail
Why? One of the smartest Rx tips of all time is about to be shared right here and now…: When you are searching for a low-calorie appetizer, shrimp cocktail, no matter where in the world you are, is IT. For a standard size (3oz of shrimp- about 12 mini or 3 extra-jumbo) with a serving of cocktail sauce (1 tbsp), you are only set back by 80 calories. Not to mention you get a quickie 2 grams of protein and a gram of fiber. Hell, you can even go to RED LOBSTER and order this winner (though if you’ve ever been to the one in Times Square…please, it would pain me to hear about it.)
RECIPE
For a yield of 3 oz:
- Decapitate and de-vein these little guys so that you don’t feel like you are committing murder in the first degree.
- Boil shrimp in water for 3-4 minutes until they are pink and opaque.
- Remove shrimp from heat, drain them, and then put them on ice to cool and prevent further heating.
- Serve in 3 ounce portions (size varying, see above) with 1 tbsp per person of cocktail sauce. Season with fresh lemon to taste.
